Saturday, September 6, 2008
i cant take this anymore!!!
12:43:00 PM
last nite i didnt realli get much slp. went to bed at around 1am but stayed awake until 5am plus. i did a lot of thinking...
i find that i am having a hard time living a 积极向上 de life. i feel that i am living of someone else and nth in my life is done for myself. how foolish isnt it?! i feel trapped btw facing the reality of my life and continuing to pursue my past. both are rough paths that i must make a choice btw. staying on the spot will just make things worse than it already is. i am just very indecisive, i dunnoe which path to take.
well, i figured out something from all the thinking. i finally figured out wat its it i wan and wat is it that is making mi so miserable. sad to sae, there is no solution to it. i also found out that there is no one i can turn to if i realli wanted to sae something. i am always by myself. i nd someone who is willing to listen, i nd someone to be by my side. maybe i am just asking for too much.
nvm, before i find that person, i think i will just have to keep everything to myself.
i am an insecure kid, hoping for someone to hold me tightly...
and never let go.
